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Our 2000+ Message Catalog!

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It's the wildest, wackiest collection on the Web! Over 2000 "Classic & Current" messages, from silly to serious, from crude to classy, from raunchy to refined... They're all here! Search by category, or enter keywords into the search box below. And if you don't like these, just type in your own custom message!

Simply use your mouse to "Copy & Paste" the text of any message into our Design Center. If a message is too long, break it up using more than one line of text. You can then customize it any way you like. Your design can have up to 6 lines, using 90 font, 96 Text Icon, 20 color, & over 14,000 Edge Image choices!


Mental Health (129 Listings)

&#@%*!

A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory

A Closed Mind Is A Wonderful Thing To Lose

A Conclusion Is Simply The Place Where You Got Tired Of Thinking

A Cubicle Is Just A Padded Cell Without A Door

A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal

A Happy Childhood Lasts A Lifetime...Prevent Child Abuse

A PBS Mind In An MTV World

Adult Child Of Alien Invaders

All The Cookies Are Not In The Jar

Allow Me To Introduce My Selves

Ambition Is A Poor Excuse For Not Having Enough Sense To Be Lazy

An Erection Does Not Count As Personal Growth

Any Connection Between Your Reality And Mine Is Purely Coincidental

Are You Alive, Or Are You Memorex?

Artificial Intelligence Usually Beats Real Stupidity

Avoid Hangovers: Stay Drunk

Being Weird Isn't Enough

Better Living Through Denial

Better To Understand A Little Than To Misunderstand A Lot

Beware: Mid-Life Crisis In Progress

Blow Up Your TV

Body By Fisher, Brains By Mattel

Bottomless Pit Of Needs & Wants

Can You Be A Closet Claustrophobic?

Clean Car: The Sign Of A Sick Mind

Clean Desk: The Sign Of A Sick Mind

Conformity Spreads Like A Virus, And You Can Only Catch Uniqueness From Yourself

Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps

Conversation Enriches The Understanding, But Solitude Is The School Of Genius

Dain Bramaged

Depression: Anger Minus Enthusiasm

Do What The Voices Tell You To Do!

Does Your Train Of Thought Have A Caboose?

Dreams Are The Touchstones Of Our Characters

Ever Stop To Think, And Forget To Start Again?

Everyone Thinks I'm Psychotic, Except For My Friends Deep Inside The Earth

God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends

Honk If You Are Co-Dependent

I Came, I Saw, I Took Prozac!

I Came, I Saw, I Took Valium!

I Can Read Your Mind, And You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself

I Can't Go To Work Today - The Voices Told Me To Stay Home And Clean The Guns

I Can't Remember If I'm The Good Twin Or The Evil One

I Do What The Voices In My Head Tell Me To

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To Do

I Do Whatever The Little Voices Tell Me To Do

I Don't Know Much But I Lead The League In Nostril Hair

I Don't Know What Your Problem Is, But I'll Bet It's Hard To Pronounce

I Don't Need Therapy, I Need Money

I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It

I Have A Computer, A Vibrator, And Pizza Delivery. Why Leave The House?

I Have Kleptomania, But When It Gets Bad, I Take Something For It.

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

I Just Do What The Little Voices Tell Me To Do

I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory

I Plead Contemporary Insanity

I Refuse To Star In Your Psychodrama

I Suffer From C.R.S. Can't Remember Shit

I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're Ok Now

I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke

I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling

If I Had Another Brain, It Would Be Very Lonely

If Someone With Multiple Personalities Threatens To Kill Himself, Is It Considered A Hostage Situation?

If You Can't Change Your Mind Are You Sure You Still Have One?

I'm A Few Beers Short Of A Six-Pack

I'm A Few Clowns Short Of A Circus

I'm A Few Feathers Short Of A Whole Duck

I'm A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal

I'm A Few Peas Short Of A Casserole

I'm An Experiment In Artificial Stupidity

I'm As Confused As A Baby In A Topless Bar

I'm Missing A Few Buttons On My Remote Control

I'm Not An Alcoholic - I'm A Drunk - Alcoholics Go To Meetings!

I'm Not Crazy, I've Just Been In A Very Bad Mood For 30 Years

I'm Not Schizophrenic. You Only Think We Are!

I'm Not Tense, Just Terribly, Terribly Alert

I'm One Fruit Loop Shy Of A Full Bowl

I'm One Taco Short Of A Combination Plate

I'm Out Of My Mind, But Feel Free To Leave A Message

I'm Trying To Imagine You With A Personality

Insanity Is Hereditary, You Get It From Your Kids

Insanity: The Only Way To Deal With Reality

Is It Time For Your Medication Or Mine?

It's As Bad As You Think, And They Are Out To Get You

It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood

Just Say No To Ritalin

Kill Your Television

Laugh At Your Problems... Everyone Else Does!

Life Is A Banquet, And Most Poor Suckers Are Starving

Madness Takes Its Toll. Please Have Exact Change

Mental Illness Is Hereditary... You Get It From Your Kids!

My Antenna Doesn't Pick Up All The Channels

My Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top Floor

My Inferiority Complex Is Not As Good As Yours

My IQ Test Came Back Negative

My Mind Is Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

My Reality Check Bounced!

My Therapist Says It's Not My Fault

Next Mood Swing: 6 Minutes

Of All The Things I've Lost, I Miss My Mind The Most

Of Course I'm Drunk, I'm No Stunt Driver

Okay, Who Stopped The Payment On My Reality Check?

Out Of My Head - Back In 5 Minutes

Question Reality

Reality Is For People Who Can't Handle Drugs

Reality Is For People Who Lack Imagination

Reality Is When It Happens To You

Reality? That's Where The Pizza Delivery Guy Comes From!

Runs With Scissors

Support Mental Health Or I Will Kill You!

Talent Develops In Tranquillity, Character In The Full Current Of Human Life

The Best Way To Get On Your Feet Is To Get Off Your Ass

The Greatest Pleasure In Life Is Doing What People Say You Cannot Do

The Wheel Is Spinning, But The Hamster Is Dead

There Is No Great Genius Without A Touch Of Madness

There Is Nothing In Which People More Reveal Their Character Than In What They Laugh At

Try Not To Let Your Mind Wander. It Is Too Small To Be Out By Itself.

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

When I'm Not In My Right Mind, My Left Mind Gets Pretty Crowded

When In Trouble, When In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream And Shout

Why Be Born Again When You Can Just Grow Up?

Why Be Normal?

You Have To Be Real Secure To Be Seen In A Car Like This

You Sound Reasonable. Time To Up The Medication.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

You're Under Too Much Stress When You Wake Up Screaming And You Haven't Even Fallen Asleep Yet

BROWSE CATEGORY LISTINGS - OVER 2000 MESSAGES

Alarm Tailgaters
Art & Media
Attitude!
Battle Of The Sexes
Driving
Environmental
Family, Kids & Pets
Generation Gap
Health
I Brake For...
I Love...
I'd Rather...
Just Silly
Love & Sex
Mental Health
My Other Car...
Optimistic
Pessimistic
Philosophical
Political
Religious
School, Work & Money
Sick & Twisted
Sports & Leisure

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