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Pessimistic (94 Listings)

A Lot Of Good Arguments Are Spoiled By Some Fool Who Knows What He's Talking About

A PBS Mind In An MTV World

All Stressed Out And No One To Choke

Beware: Mid-Life Crisis In Progress

Borrow Money From Pessimists - They Don't Expect It Back

Do I Look Like A Friggin' People Person?

Do They Ever Shut Up On Your Planet?

Doing Something Right The First Time Means Nobody Appreciates How Difficult It Was

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

Enough With The Ribbons Already!

Every Morning Is The Dawn Of A New Error

Everyone Has A Right To Be Stupid. Some Just Abuse The Privilege.

For Every Action, There Is An Equal And Opposite Criticism

Friends May Come And Go, But Enemies Accumulate

Good News Is Just Life's Way Of Keeping You Off Balance

Gravity Is A Myth... The Earth Sucks

Happiness Is Merely The Remission Of Pain

He Who Hesitates Is Probably Right

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I Can't Stand It Anymore

I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe

I Have Seen The Truth And It Makes No Sense

I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke

I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out

If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?

If Everything Is Going Well, You Have Overlooked Something

If The Enemy Is In Range, So Are You

If You Can Keep Your Head When All Around Are Losing Theirs You Have Failed To Grasp The Situation

If You Find Something You Like, Buy A Lifetime Supply, Because They Will Stop Making It

If You Think That There Is Good In Everybody, You Haven't Met Everybody

If You Think You're Not Confused, You're Just Not Thinking Too Clearly

If You're Not Outraged, You're Not Paying Attention

If You're Short Of Everything But The Enemy, You're In A Combat Zone

I'm One Of Those Bad Things That Happen To Good People

It's As Bad As You Think, And They Are Out To Get You

It's Hard To Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything Good

It's Hard To Make A Comeback When You Haven't Been Anywhere

Laugh Alone And The World Thinks You're An Idiot

Law Of Probability Dispersal: Whatever It Is That Hits The Fan Will Not Be Evenly Distributed

Make It Idiot Proof And Someone Will Make A Better Idiot

Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7th Of Your Life

Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups

Nine Out Of Ten People Who Change Their Minds Are Wrong The Second Time, Too

No One Is Listening Until You Make A Mistake

No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn't Work Anyway.

Nostalgia Isn't What It Used To Be

Poo Poo Occurs

Practice Random And Senseless Acts

Rainy Days And Automatic Weapons Always Get Me Down

Same Shit - Different Millennium

Santa's Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses

Sarcasm Is Just One More Service We Offer

Save The Planet - Kill Yourself

Shit Happens

So Many Stupid People... So Few Comets

Some People Are Only Alive Because It Is Illegal To Shoot Them

Someone Who Thinks Logically Is A Nice Contrast To The Real World

Success Always Occurs In Private, And Failure In Full View

Suicide Is The Most Sincere Form Of Self-Criticism

The Difference Between Genius And Stupidity Is Genius Has Its Limits

The Facts, Although Interesting, Are Generally Irrelevant

The Gene Pool Could Use A Little Chlorine

The Leopard Cannot Change Its Spots

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Headlight Of An Approaching Train

The More I See Of People, The More I Admire Dogs

The More People I Meet, The More I Like My Cat

The More People I Meet, The More I Like My Dog

The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live

The Other Line Always Moves Faster... Until You Get In It

The Problem With The Gene Pool Is That There Is No Lifeguard

The Rat Race Is Over - The Rats Won

The Severity Of The Itch Is Proportional To The Reach

The Two Most Common Elements In The Universe Are Hydrogen And Stupidity

The World Gets A Little Better Every Day, And Worse In The Evening

There Are Neanderthals Among Us Even Now

There Is No Gravity: The Earth Just Sucks

There's One In Every Crowd And They Always Find Me

This Is As Bad As It Can Get... But Don't Bet On It

This Is Not The Life I Ordered

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Today Is The Tomorrow You Worried About Yesterday

Too Many Freaks, Not Enough Circuses

Two Wrongs Are Only The Beginning

Very Few Things Happen At The Right Time, And The Rest Do Not Happen At All

We Are Born Naked, Wet, And Hungry. Then Things Get Worse

Well, This Day Was A Total Waste Of Makeup

Whatever

Whatever Kind Of Look You Were Going For, You Didn't Succeed

When Everything's Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane

Who Owns You?

Why Do People With Closed Minds Always Open Their Mouths?

Why Me?

Yesterday Is A Memory, Tomorrow Is A Vision. Today Is A Bitch!

You Are Validating My Inherent Mistrust Of Strangers